The long-awaited new Sebadoh album, "Defend
Yourself," released on Tuesday, has got me questioning: have I outgrown
Sebadoh?
Ever since I discovered the scrappy western Massachusetts
trio in my freshman year of college in 2003, they've been my favorite,
still-in-existence band. Granted, they were not very active at the time I got
into them, having bottomed out with 1999's "The Sebadoh" – a great
album, but a departure from "Harmacy" (1996) and "Bakesale"
(1994), both of which got some commercial attention in the '90s alt-rock boom.
I saw them in 2008, when the original trio of Lou Barlow,
Jason Loewenstein and Eric Gaffney reunited for some touring in support of a
reissue of 1993's fantastic "Bubble and Scrape" – far and away their
best album, in my opinion. Later, when "Bakesale" got the reissue
treatment, I saw them again at the same Northampton venue, Pearl Street, in
2011. I got super drunk that night after wandering out on Richard Buckner's incredibly
strange opening set, consisting of 45 minutes of non-stop songs that just kind
of turned into one mushy song. Sebadoh sounded even better this time out with
new drummer Bob D'Amico, an opinion the drummer in my band The Hearing Aides,
Mark Adamo, shared, and he knows way more about that than me. They did an
updated rock-out version of "Harmacy's" "Willing to Wait"
that just slayed the album cut. I still think they should re-record that song
the way they do it now.
Having heard "Defend Yourself" (listen at
sebadoh.bandcamp.com), that opinion is just strengthened. Besides "I
Will," which is starting to rank with "Soul and Fire,"
"Think (Let Tomorrow Bee)" and "Spoiled" as one of my all-time
favorite Barlow compositions, the album is dull. Barlow's contributions sound
like re-writes of songs from his 2009 solo album "Goodnight Unknown"
(I don't know how many times he plans on re-writing "Too Much
Freedom" – "Rude" from the 2012 Dinosaur Jr. album "I Bet
on Sky" was pushing it, and "State of Mine" sounds even more
stale) or some of his other Dinosaur Jr. album contributions
("Oxygen" is like a wimpier, whinier version of "Back to Your
Heart" from 2007's "Beyond"). "Let it Out" is a tear-jerking
ballad akin to "Think" but missing the oomph of that song.
Loewenstein's stuff stands up substantially better – "Can't Depend"
seems to be getting a lot of flak from critics for being a Wilco rip-off, but I
love it almost as much as "I Don't Mind," one of his songs from last
year's prequel to this album, the "Secret" EP. In fact, everyone
fared much better on that EP – Barlow still had his weak moments ("Keep
the Boy Alive") but managed a classic tune in "All Kinds."
Maybe the problem is that I don't find myself relating to
Barlow anymore. And back when I was in college, I related to him a bit too
much. I was struggling to find my voice as a guitarist, songwriter and
especially singer, and up to that point I had been attempting to emulate
vocalists like Kurt Cobain, Layne Staley, James Hetfield – gruff, growly,
screamy singers that I had no business emulating. Barlow showed me another way,
and his dejected baritone actually sounded quite a bit like me. His
home-recordings on Sebadoh's earliest releases also seemed to mirror my own
experiments with my Wal-mart boom-box and microphone combo. Armed with a new
idol, I soon gave up on finding other musicians to form a band with and threw
myself into the boom-box stuff. A history of rock 'n' roll course I took the
summer before my sophomore year also influenced me, and following the lead of
the Beatles and the Beach Boys I began bouncing tracks back and forth, creating
on-the-fly multi-track mixes. (You can actually hear some of it at
brianpatrik.bandcamp.com/oh – but don't say I didn't warn you.)
Fast-forward to today. I've been playing in a power trio,
The Hearing Aides, for close to three years now, and have released two albums
with them. My songwriting, guitar playing and most of all singing have all
improved. With more confidence vocally, I no longer feel the need to emulate
anyone. I can now scream and not lose my voice, a plus in angry, loud punk
music – and while Cobain is of course still a touchstone, I could never, ever
sound remotely like him, and I don't try. (What the hell, here we are:
thehearingaides.bandcamp.com. I swear I'm not just wantonly promoting my music
... well, maybe a little.)
Back to "Defend Yourself." These new songs make me gag. They're whiny in the worst way.
I know the story behind at least some of the songs on the album – Barlow divorced
his wife, the same woman he wrote "Soul and Fire" and
"Kath" and "Two Years Two Days" and who knows how many
other songs about/for. Barlow's at his best writing about heartbreak. You'd
think these songs would be striking all kinds of emotional chords, but instead
I just feel a little gross listening to something so personal and so difficult.
The thing is, that's always been Barlow's specialty, and I
used to love it. I have very specific memories dealing with my own romantic
ineptitude that are connected to songs from Barlow's back catalog. I'm a grown
up now, though, with a job, struggling to pay bills. I've also had my share of
relationships, good and bad (but at this point mostly bad). Cut to the chase –
I'm way more cynical and far less susceptible to this mushy stuff.
I have to wonder, if I was introduced to Sebadoh today,
would I even be into them? Because this album has all the elements of classic
Sebadoh, it really does. I've been waiting on the edge of my seat for it since
last year. I should be basking in its glory. Instead, I can't make it through a
third full listen.
There's no way to answer that accurately, of course. But
Barlow always had his moments that were too much, even for me. "Willing to
Wait" is actually a perfect example. That's a pretty icky song, when you
think about it. Here, check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpVe3qm4rIA.
Icky video, too. Here's the way they do it now: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBIkSQWsq5Y.
The maudlin lyrics don't matter as much anymore, because the power of the trio
takes over and that amazing hook floats to the top.
So back to my initial question: have I outgrown Sebadoh? To
an extent, I think I have. I don't find myself listening to them as much
anymore. But the more I think about it, the more I'm inclined to think that
"Defend Yourself" is just poorly written. And that sucks, maybe even
more than me outgrowing the band.
